A Poet's Mind

I'm done. I'm tired. I've had enough! Screw your games! I can't... I can't... This reality... it's too much! So much misery. So much pain. So much... darkness? I've had it with the bullshit runaround! I feel like a human drone. Empty of life, love... future. Why do I even exist?

Still haven't sleep My stoopid thinking brain won't leave me be My brain is like car engine that's been revvingwr till early morning I know I already slept twice hours ago but... I'm tired My brain and my body won't let me rest Am I unconsciously anxious about something... beats me

I'm tired of being broke and poor. Worrying where my next meal or my next allowance will be. I'm exhausted of that feeling of lack, helplessness and scarcity. There's gotta something more to this... There's gotta be a away to move beyond this and overcome it. There's gotta to a scheme to this... I'm tired of my senseless, irrational, intrusion of negative thoughts inside my mind. You can't stop thoughts... trust me I tried. Does not work! I just want some semblance of peace of mind. I'm not asking for much.

My life has atrophied... I'm like stuck in some random-ass town in a middle of nowhere can't leave yet can't stay I've almost given up... I want to do something yet can't do anything I am at my wits end! WTF God wants from me? Does he want to rot and waste my life like this? There's gotta something better than this...

Stuck here in America Where moron politicians  are losing IQ points day by day. Wish I have money to get outta here to be in a place somewhere peace & quiet and less toxic than good ole' US-of-A. But I'm stuck here I guess fate just want me just want me to swallow myself in misery. Never felt so powerless and helpless I raised my hands and I let them go plop them down... surrendering  into the uselessness of the situation. I want to scream but... no sound came off it full of fury blah, blah, blah. I don't even know what is the divine plan of me he might as well have given up. Poor, useless me. Even the divine don't know what to do with me. Always been a problem child thru and thru. Why am I even here?

I feel so empty... unfulfilled no purpose, worthless, emptier than a void. I'm just wasting time, wasting my life wasting myself... wasting everything! I feel like a mistake... wondering why do I even exist? My self, life, reality is all pointless, all shit what is even the point living when you are nothing... literally nothing! I am an aberration! what is even god thinking when it created me, my life, my reality. This is bullshit! All is bullshit! I had enough it!